OK – I was kind of atrocious (1-3) with my picks last week, but I don’t really mind too much. First of all, even though I was 1-1 on Saturday, my reverse jinx Philly-over-Dallas pick worked to perfection. In fact, the reverse jinx pick has worked so well in Dallas’ favor this year that I am thinking about backing The All-time Interception Leader in a playoff game. As long as the Cowboys win, I would technically have all of next week to reiterate everything I have been saying about Favre for 15 years.
As for the Sunday picks last week, I don’t know what to say. I was actually at work on Sunday and ended up Tweeting my picks moments before kickoff. I changed the text of my Tweet from “Baltimore (+3.5)” to “New England (-3.5)” and back again twice. Finally, I was out of time and talked myself into “do I really want to back John Harbaugh and Joe Flacco over Bill Belichick and Tom Brady at home?” As for the Arizona-GB game, who the hell cares? I would have gladly lost money on that game just to have the opportunity to watch it…if gambling were legal, I mean. As a side note – if Aaron Rodgers could go back in time, do you think he would still try to kick at his fumble, knowing the results of that misguided pursuit, or just let it fall to the ground and take his chances on a defensive stand and the game riding on the foot of Neil Rackers?
Anyway, without further ado, here are the picks for Week 2. As always, home team in ALL CAPS.
NEW ORLEANS (-7) over Arizona. I think with the Cardinals defense, the Reverend Warner is going to have to replicate his performance from a week ago. I do not think the odds are in his favor. If he comes within 80% of duplicating his performance from last week, at his age, it would absolutely be the most impressive 2-week run in the playoffs by any quarterback in the history of the NFL. It just does not seem possible. Without Warner playing perfect, or damn close to it, this game is a laugher. PREDICTION: New Orleans 42, Arizona 17
Baltimore (-7) over INDIANAPOLIS. I think Jim Caldwell is Tony Dungy by another name. Translation – regular season success, career losing record in the playoffs, and a long tradition of having his team be grossly underprepared when it matters most. I could be dead wrong about the actual pick here – after all, you should never count out Manning, and the Colts defense is not quite as soft as it has been in recent years. However, I will guarantee this – the Colts will give up at least one (probably more) big play in the kicking game, where you can point to a lack of coaching and/or focus as the primary causes. I am not saying it will be quite as blatant as the Devin Hester KO return to start the Super Bowl (probably the clearest example of an unprepared team in the history of the NFL Super Bowl – I mean, you give up an opening KO return for a TD to the only player on the other team that can hurt you – too bad someone other than Lovie Smith was not coaching the Bears…sitting there with 2 QBs in the sideline capable of beating the Colts and watching Rex Grossman hand the game away) – but it will be very clear that the team is not focused. It may not matter, because all they really need is for Manning to be focused and for Dallas Clark to get free on enough first half Baltimore blitzes to make them think twice about blitzing as much as they want.
I think the deciding factor here is the game back in November, when Baltimore pushed Indy all over the field and choked the game away at the end. I think the Baltimore offensive line will have another dominating performance…and they will need to do so. If Indy can have even a small amount of success stopping the run, and put the game on the arm of Flacco, they will have a great chance. I don’t think they can do it. Baltimore could seriously have 3 running backs with more than 100 yards in this game. PREDICTION: Baltimore 19, Indianapolis 17
MINNESOTA (-3) over Dallas. Normally, a Dallas victory here would be a certainty. Dallas has “the look” more than any other playoff team right now, Minnesota has had some off weeks, Favre is 0-3 lifetime against Dallas, he is due for a 4 INT game, and DaMarcus Ware might just end his streak of consecutive starts and his career before the end of the first half. Then again, there is NO ONE outside of the Twin Cities picking Minnesota…and I mean NO ONE. I can’t get anyone to even make an argument for the Vikes…which is why they just might win this game.
I think this is one of those games that have only 2 out of the 4 outcomes possible – Minnesota in a tight game or Dallas in a blow out. I don’t know if Wade Phillips has the stones to win a close game in that building, and I know for a FACT that Jason Garrett does not have the testicular fortitude to handle that kind of moment. But Dallas is playing well enough now that I don’t think they could end up on the wrong side of a laugher. Childress and Favre in the playoffs…they could DEFINITELY end up down by 30 points at the half. Probably not, though. PREDICTION: Minnesota 21, Dallas 17
NY Jets (+8) over SAN DIEGO. This is an absolute perfect matchup for the Jets. San Diego must throw the ball to win, and the Jets are great against the pass. The Jets must run the ball to win, and San Diego is horrible against the run. You just have the feeling that this is going to one of those games like the Dallas-Giants game a couple of years ago. Back and forth until the 4th quarter, and you end up with a great defense getting all geeked up on the sideline, realizing that all they have to do is come up with 1 or 2 stops, and they are in the conference championship game. I believe the Jets defense is good enough to go out and dictate the outcome in that situation. That’s right – I am picking the J-E-T-S-JetsJetsJets to win this one outright. PREDICTION: Jets 17, San Diego 13
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First things first – about the picture to the left. Kind of a mildly interesting story – I was looking for a picture along the same lines of the picture from the column referenced earlier. All red-blooded males should go ahead and click that link now, if they have not done so already. Don’t even read the column, just look at the picture for the appropriate context of the next several sentences. Anyway, I was looking for a similar picture, so I called on my buddy Uncle Google to assist. Typing in “ring card girls” and “round card girls” (both fine searches and well worth your time, by the way) got me a bunch of results that I was not too happy with – basically the way you would feel if you looked at any of these ring/round card girls up close sans 2 pounds of makeup. Anyway, I decided that I would type in “sexy boxing” and maybe get a picture of a celebrity or actress dressed up in boxing garb. Instead, I got this picture of the Klitschko brothers in what can only be described as the two most beautiful coats I have ever seen. I am not sure how many Siberian ice beavers had to give their life to make this picture happen, but in one man’s opinion, it was well worth it. By the way – I made up the “Siberian ice beaver”, so do not Google it. 
