I had occasion to be in Chicago this morning and the local sports radio guys up there were positively giddy with the Peavy-to-the-White-Sox deal.  And they should have been.  It was reported that the Padres had actually called Peavy in to talk to him about it on Wednesday night…which basically means that the deal was in place and just required Peavy to waive his no-trade clause. 

Most of the experts are talking about a couple of key reasons for Peavy to invoke his no-trade clause and stay in San Diego:

- Peavy wants to stay in the National League

- Peavy wants to play for a contender

Obviously, neither of those two criteria apply to the 2009 Chicago White Sox, especially the second one. 

If winning cures everything, then the potential for winning will set Peavy free.  Here are some of the other things at play here:

- The Padres need to get Peavy’s salary off the books ASAP.  They are way over budget and the owner is going through a messy divorce, in which the Padres franchise comprises over 50% of the marital assets and is also the key bargaining chip.  They are in full-on fire sale / rebuilding mode.  Hey, at least this guy have a bona fide reason for the fire sale (I am talking to you, Jeff Loria, you heartless, soulless, fan-destroying douche-bag). So, Peavy is gone before the trade deadline, we know that for a fact.

- The Padres want 4 good prospects in return for Peavy.  There are only a small handful of teams that have the prospects to support that kind of trade without depleting the farm system and/or have enough money to replenish the farm system fairly quickly.  I don’t quite have time to do all the research necessary to come up with the whole list, but it probably looks something like:  Red Sox, Cubs, Braves, White Sox, Yankees, Mets, Angels, Rays, Phillies, Dodgers.

- Peavy has around $60 million of guaranteed money coming to him under his current deal.  The list of teams that can support that kind of financial commitment is even shorter than the list of teams in the bullet point above this one.  Once again, just a slightly educated guess, but that list might look like this:  Yankees, Mets, Cubs, Red Sox, Dodgers, Angels, White Sox, Phillies.  Notice anything particular about that list?  If not, you are kindly urged to check out the list of the largest media markets in the U.S. here.

So, it’s not exactly rocket science to figure out where Peavy might end up.  If he is firm on the National League thing, then he will probably end up with the Cubs…who have finally figured out how to win in a league without a salary cap when you are in a major media market.  Granted, they already passed on Peavy during the off-season for financial reasons, but they are far from done talking to Peavy about the prospect of coming to Chicago.

If Peavy is willing to relax the NL requirement to get himself to a contender, then he will be in New York or Boston.  I think Boston, with the injuries they have had to their pitching staff, and all the young arms they have in the minors, would be a perfect fit.

Sure, I am a Red Sox fan, so the overall premise of this blog post is merely to pre-gloat about the upcoming Jake Peavy trade in the next month or two.  Don’t go to sleep on Theo Epstein on this one.

So, just for kicks, let’s look at the potential playoff rotation for the Red Sox with Peavey in the mix, shall we?  Beckett, Peavey, Penny, Lester, Dice-K, Smoltz…wait, that’s 6…and we haven’t gotten to Wakefield, Buckholz or Masterson yet.  I have always wanted the Sox to be able to use Wakefield as a reliever in the playoffs.  Could you imagine being able to have him get up every couple of innings or so of a playoff game, see how the knuckler is reacting under the current conditions, phone in the results to Tito from the ‘pen, and only have Wakefield used when he will be most effective?  And what about having the ability to finish games like this: Masterson, Smoltz, Papelbon back-to-back-to-back…with Okajima available to put the occasional lefty to sleep in a pinch.

I think it might be safe to say that a Red Sox team featuring that kind of staff might have a better than average chance to win their 3rd title in 6 years.  Uh, as a Red Sox fan, I am pretty excited about that last paragraph, even if you take the name Peavy out of it.  In fact, if you are a Red Sox fan, read that last paragraph again, ignoring the word “Peavy” and remind yourself that the Sox have been accomplishing everything so far this year without Dice-K, Smoltz or an HR from Papi, except for the one he hit Wednesday night.

So, my feelings for the Red Sox aside, let’s assume that Peavy is going to end up with a contender that can provide the prospects required and weather the $60 million storm.  Unfortunately, at least for small market teams and their fans…the rich get richer…again. 

One last point…don’t go to sleep on Shallow Hal with this one, either. 

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Since I had a bunch of ideas for blog entries, and very little time to knock one out, I decided to take the “Random Thoughts” approach.  Sure, it is indeed the lazy man’s approach, as you essentially only have to come up with a sentence or two about each topic, instead of a whole article, but as you may already know, laziness suits me well.

So, without further ado, here are the random sports-related thoughts that have been swimming around my head over the last week:

• Deion Sanders, NFL Analyst.  When the hell did Deion Sanders become an analyst?  A couple of things he said during the Dallas-Baltimore game last week really jumped out at me:
  • Prime Time mentioned that he had a policy of never attempting to catch a punt when he had to run more than 10 yards toward the coverage.  He said that during a Saturday night game.  The very next day, no fewer than 4 punt returners muffed punts that they tried to catch after they had run more than 10 yards toward the coverage.
  • Neon Deion also mentioned that the Dallas defense was starting to look a little tired, and it might make sense for Dallas to attempt an onside kick, instead of putting the game in the hands of their defense, after cutting the Baltimore lead to 2 point with 3:50 left in the game.  He mentioned that Dallas might not even get the ball back.  In fact, it was even worse than that, as Willis McGahee broke off a 77-yard run that essentially ended the game.  Of course, faced with the same exact decision a few minutes later (down 2 points with 1:36 left), after another valiant effort by the offense, Wade Phillips made the same stupid decision again (no surprise).  So, the one burning question I have is — how can Deion Sanders know something about the 2008 Dallas Cowboys that Wade Phillips does not know?  Ever?
• Wade Phillips, Lame Duck.  For “the last straw” argument, please re-read the last sentence of the random thought above.  Wade Phillips needs to be gone after this year, no matter what.  If the Cowboys win the Super Bowl, Jerry Jones should pay him whatever it takes to get rid of him.  Anything less than a Super Bowl victory, and you just buy him out.  Here is the clearly formed argument — Jerry Jones has somehow built his team into the New York Yankees of the NFL, with embedded ESPN reporters (good luck finding another NFL team that has ever had that before), and the full-on media circus.  Well, if that is what he wanted to build, then he also has to be prepared to sack up and do whatever it takes to win…and giving Wade Phillips a vote of confidence going into Week 17 is about the least “sack-up” move I have ever heard about.  Wade needs to go…and if they do not win at Philly, then he should probably take Tony Romo with him.
• 1995 NFL Championship Game.  I watched the 1995 NFL Championship Game on The NFL Network last weekend, and I am fit to be tied.  The NFL Network removed the footage of Brett Favre crying on the sidelines of Texas Stadium at the end of the game.  Let me rephrase that — The NFL Network removed the footage of The All-Time Interception Leader Pillhead Crybaby wailing away on the sidelines.  How on earth is this acceptable from any bona fide media outlet?  Has Brett Favre become such a face of the league that they need to remove footage of him looking bad?  If that is the case, then where do you stop?  Do you remove the footage of his 157,000 interceptions from all the footage in the vault as well?
• 2008 New York Jets.  Bill Simmons mentioned in a recent column how scared he was that the Patriots season, or at least their making the playoffs, is dependent on Brett Favre.  Well, think about how scared you would be if you were a Jets fan, Bill.  Having to rest your entire season on the arm of the most successful quarterback in history at throwing the ball to the wrong team.  Did I miss something?  Did Brett Favre become clutch all of a sudden?  Have the Jets fans forgotten everything they watched on television over the last 15 years and decided instead to just listen to delusional Packers fans?  Here is all you need to know about depending on Brett Favre in big games –> Super Bowl XXXI M.V.P. Desmond Howard.
• Peyton Manning.  I cannot wait to see Peyton Manning playing on the road against Pittsburgh or Tennessee in the playoffs.  Hell, if the Chargers win in Week 17, he would have to go into San Diego and win before he even gets the privilege of demonstrating how happy his feet can get.  I have begrudgingly accepted that fact that Peyton Manning is a great quarterback, but without a second-half collapse by New England in the AFC Championship game and Rex Grossman being under center for the Bears, Manning would still be the football equivalent of A-Rod…and Tony Dungy would still be getting embarrassed in every big game by having his teams show up unprepared…kind of like a team that would give up a return TD on the first play of the Super Bowl.  Anyway, let’s just say that my wallet is sporting a woody in excited anticipation of Peyton Manning facing the Steelers or Titans defense in the playoffs.
• Tarvaris Jackson.  If my wallet was sporting a woody thinking about Peyton Manning facing Pittsburgh or Tennessee in the playoffs, then it is now messy and no longer sporting anything when I think about Tarvaris Jackson facing one of these defenses in the playoffs, if the Vikings win in Week 17: Dallas, Tampa, Philadelphia.  Here is all you need to know about Tarvaris Jackson — I have finally started exploring the “Superstar Mode” of Madden ‘08 (yeah, I know, I am about 12 months behind).  I am Adrian Peterson.  Whenever I have the option to play as “Rookie” or “Receiving RB”, I select “Receiving RB”, because in that role, I can affect other players…and I take every single point I can and apply it to “Jackson QB Accuracy”, just to have a fighting chance…and I have started the season 0-4.  He might put Vegas out of business within the next 10 days.
• Justin Tuck’s Flu.  Justin Tuck played the entire Carolina game with the flu.  I had the same illness on the same evening, and I was thoroughly destroyed by taking out the trash.  Granted, no one is paying me millions of dollars to get off the couch when I have the flu, but what Tuck did cannot go without notice.  To see him staggering around the field at the end of the game speaks volumes to how incredible his feat was during that game.  I cannot wait until he gets traded so I can cheer for him.  Way to go, Big Midget!
• Angels Fans.  How do you think Angels fans feel about Artie Moreno publicly passing on Mark Texiera before the Yankees even had an offer on the table?  Dear Mr. Moreno — if you want to stop performing like a small market team in the post-season, please stop acting like a small market owner in the off-season.
• Arthur Blank.  Speaking of d-bag owners, did anyone else catch the quote from Arthur Blank talking about Christmas miracles?  He actually implied that football fans should feel bad for his family after what has happened to them because of the Michael Vick situation.  Really?  You want us to feel bad for your family, billion-dollar beneficiaries that your dumb ass took a gamble that people would want Home Depot stores in every town?  You want us to feel bad for your family during these economic times?  Especially when you want to bring up the Michael Vick thing?  I hope you realize what is going to happen to your organization for the egomaniacal nature of that ridiculously stupid comment, Mr. Blank…and I will watch it all happen with relish.  Also, in the future, you should try checking out everything about a player you want to draft, instead of looking at his stats, and pass on guys that have the words “ticking time bomb” displayed on their wrapper…other teams have done this with great results.
• QB Hats.  What the hell is going on with the young QBs in the NFL and these stupid hats?  First it was Romo, and then I saw Aaron Rodgers wearing one of those idiotic hats himself.  So, how did we come to this?  It’s almost like these guys sat down and said, “I just don’t think I am connecting enough with the common man…I make millions of dollars and can have any woman I want…how can I douche myself up a bit to get more Joe Six Pack fans…hey, this hat looks pretty douche-y, let’s give that a try.”
• Bill Cowher.  No less a connected person than Jeremy Green has mentioned that the bidding for Bill Cowher to take over in Cleveland will start at $8 million per year, and probably settle in around $10 million per year, and he will have coaching and football operations responsibilities.  Of course, Cowher, just like every other guy that has tried this, many of them quite a bit smarter than he is, will fail and fail miserably.  Of course, Randy Lerner will let him flail away in that position for about 3 seasons too long, making it worse…it’s his move, it’s what he does…making things worse through inaction.  Why the heck would anyone want Cowher anyway?  He won one Super Bowl on a gadget play and a bunch of blown calls that all happened to go the way of his team.  He had, hands down, the best team in the NFL during at least 6 of his seasons at the helm, and won absolutely nothing with any of those teams.  I think that the Browns’ fans deserve better…it’s a shame that their owner does not agree with me.
• Psycho T.  Roy Williams is costing Tyler Hansbrough money.  Everyone that has anything to do with the NBA is talking about the fact that Hansbrough will have no success at the next level.  Of course, whenever there is such a groundswell of “experts” all saying the same thing, they are all wrong.  Hansbrough has, on occasion, shown an ability to play a totally different game away from the basket, and he will be able to do that at the next level, without problems.  He cannot take the physical pounding inside with his size, but any of those guys that can handle him inside will not be able to handle what he is capable of doing 17-20 feet away from the basket…and he will get a big fat second contract when he demonstrates that in the NBA.  Unfortunately, he will not get a chance to demonstrate that in college (thank you, Uncle Roy), and his first contract will suffer tremendously as a result.  The worst part of all about it is that the Tar Heels do not need Hansbrough banging away inside to win any and every game this year.  Roy Williams has a responsibility to all of his players to present them in the most favorable light possible the NBA scouts, provided doing so is not to the detriment of the team.  I think he should let Psycho T range away from the hoop a little bit to show his range.
• Dallas Cowboys.  I will say the same thing I have said for the past 3 weeks…beware the Dallas Cowboys.  Now, not only can they play the “no one gives us any respect” card, they have truly earned it after they got debacled against Baltimore.  Look at the rest of the teams in the playoff picture for the NFC and tell me if you think any one of them wants any piece of Dallas.  Sure, they still have some work to do, but 2 out of the last 3 Super Bowl winners were Wild Card teams that were nowhere near as talented as the 2008 Dallas Cowboys.

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John Lackey, who is better at what he does than I am at anything, is a sore loser.  He is probably a great guy who just got caught up in an emotional situation and did not have time to think before opening his mouth.  Well, I hope that is the case, because if not, it would make him easily the dumbest dude I have ever heard about in professional sports.  Even if that is the case, I am not sure his actual stupidity could hold a candle to how stupid he looks with his ever-gaping mouth, beady eyes too close together, malformed head and jacked up teeth, but perhaps that is a rant for a different day.  Suffice it to say that when centuries of inbreeding manifests itself in such a tragic way, and you have the money to do something about it, why on earth would you stay with the status quo, especially when the status looks like this?

So, here are the quotes from cry baby number one:

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