Can everyone please stop talking about Kobe Bryant’s new “mean” face…you know, the one he briefly brought out during the Nuggets series and featured prominently during Game 1 of the finals? Oh, you know which one I am talking about.
I am still trying to figure out how the term “mean”, or even “scowl”, could actually be applied to something that not only looks completely non-threatening, but also looks about a douche-y as anything you could dream up.
If I had to pick a close cousin for Kobe’s new scowl, it would have to be the rat. But not a mean or angry rat that might inspire fear in women, small children and unattended cheese…kind of a like a friendly, Coach K rat…a wimpy rat.
In fact, I think that’s what we can start calling Kobe’s new “scowl” for the rest of the Finals…the face of a rat that is anything but mean. Hmmmmmm. I’ve got it! In Game 1 of the NBA Finals, Kobe was showing off his “Pussy the Rat” face.
I know Kobe would think he deserves a better name for it, since he obviously practiced it in front of the mirror for a while…but that face is about the least fear-inspiring thing I have ever seen. Yeah — “Pussy the Rat” sounds like a perfect description. I guess if you were in mixed company, you could say he was making his Ratatouille face, but I personally think it loses some of the impact without the female anatomical reference, which is not only appropriate but required, in my opinion.
So, if you are watching Game 2 on Sunday night with friends, or even by yourself, when Kobe makes his new face, feel free to jump up and chime in with “Pussy the Rat!” The more I think about it, although I am not telling you how to watch the game, I think the proper delivery might be akin to Jeff Goldblum’s character in “Deep Cover” when he is pinging around the back of the limo taking great relish in calling Barbosa “Felix the Rat.” Just keep saying it over and over: Pussy the Rat! Pussy the Rat! Pussy the Rat!
Just in case you don’t get the Ratatouille reference, take a look at the adorable main character from that movie and tell me that he does not look remarkably like Kobe Bryant’s mean face.
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